Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

Cresters react to magic

Posted: August 27, 2014 in Comedy

To start off, Cresters are people who go to my church, SouthCrest. So I’m glad you didn’t turn down reading this because you didn’t know what Cresters were. As you know, (If you read my About page) one of the many things I am is a magician. I can do all sorts of magic, including mentalism, telekinesis, and bending metal. But I mainly just do card tricks. And once I thought I was good enough, I decided to take a deck of cards with me to church. Let’s just say that I’m glad I did. But, it has it’s disadvantages, too. Some people won’t even let me do tricks for them anymore, they say, “NO, YOU’RE CREEPY!” and run away. But luckily, I can deal with those people, because when they say that, it draws attention to me, and people will want to see what they were so afraid of. My first performance was at a Starbucks takeover for the middle school kids. I’m in high school, but that didn’t stop me from getting my daily dose of frappuccino, so I went with my sister. By the end of the takeover, I’m standing in front of a table with at least twelve people watching. I had been doing magic for them for about ten minutes, and all I had been doing were rubber band illusions. I said, “I can do other tricks too, but I’m much better with a deck of cards.” and that seemed to be what they had been waiting for the entire time. Almost immediately someone asked, “Well do you have one on you?” and I quickly pulled one out of my pocket and did a trick I call ‘The four ladies’. Unfortunately, that was all I had time for, because my parental unit had arrived to whisk me away to my home. But luckily, now they know my face, and they know I do awesome magic, so I’m beginning to make a name for myself around SouthCrest. The last trick I did, it was for my LifeGroup, and EVERYONE in sight was participating. And of course, the trick ‘Here then there’ definitely did not fail to make them scream. Of course, screaming isn’t the only reaction that I get. I had one guy just the other day tell me that if I was doing this one hundred years ago they’d hang me. But the reaction that I get the most is either; 1. People being so freaked out they throw the card away from them. 2. They just stare at the deck and say “……what?…..”. Or 3. They just look at me, then the deck, then me, then the deck, with their jaws just hanging there like it’s dislocated. But no matter what they do, they never see how the trick is done, (no matter how much I think they do) and I always walk away like a boss.



OK, so I’m an electronic music artist, and my stage name is LiveRatt. I thought it would be promotional to have that as my Xbox Live gamertag too. So it is. And when people meet me on Xbox Live, they ALWAYS mispronounce my NAME!!! Especially the squeakers!!! They say “Hey Liv E Rat! Come join my party, we have chips!.”. Obviously they don’t understand the concept of the Xbox Live party. I just say “Ironboundcar7, I am not physically there with you, therefore I cannot eat your chips. Plus, I’ve been to one of your parties before, you get the off-brand nonfat low sodium chips with no salt, and…….that wasn’t guacamole. But anyway, it’s pronounced LiveRatt. L-i-v-e-R-a-t-t. Capital L capitol R and two Ts, and don’t forget that it’s one word.“. But Liv E Rat isn’t the worst I’ve have. I’ve had Live-E-Rat, I’ve had Liver-At, and the one I get the most is Liv-Rat. Just so you’re reading it right, I’m going to put it in better context for you. Take the sentence ‘I am holding a live rat.’. OK, got it? Just like you said the words ‘live’ and ‘rat’ in that sentence, put them together and that’s the correct way to say it. Oh yeah and Ironboundcar7 is one of my friends on Xbox Live, he can get annoying but you can deal with it. Send him a friend request and tell him LiveRatt send you, but don’t tell him I said he could get annoying. You really can’t joke around with this kid at all, he takes everything literally. But, I’ll be out there on COD, and Minecraft if you want to play, and if we DO end up playing together, then I’ll feature you on the next post. Until then, I will continue being constantly harassed by the worldwide curse of mispronunciation.